42 Epic Shakespeare Insults That Display the Playwrights Wit

William Shakespeare is one of the great playwrights and poets in literary history. The English-born gent, who was also known as the “Bard of Avon,” wrote some of the most successful plays of all time, with his works still being performed today. Mainly writing tragedies and comedies, his best-known works include Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, Othello, King Lear, and Macbeth. What makes his work so engaging is his dedication to character expansion, his intriguing plots, his use of the English language, and of course, his “Shakespeare insults” that are witty but still cut deep.

Shakespearean insults are a famous aspect of the bard’s writing and have become an essential part of the English language lexicon. These put-downs are creatively crafted by the master playwright and composed of a combination of words that seem harmless individually but, when combined, create a devastating effect.

He doesn’t just call someone a “dickhead,” but does so with fruity prose that is elaborate and pleasant on the ear. Shakespeare has his own style and tone that make his insults stick. Using clever wordplay and sarcasm, his words are biting, and when performed on stage, provide great entertainment for audiences. They are used as a form of comic relief to break up the tension that is often found in Shakespeare’s plays.

The bard’s insults are so famous that they are still used today. Even though they were written over four centuries ago and aren’t exactly your standard insult, these jokes and funny cracks still work, although you might need a dictionary to work out what is being said.

His witty words and funny prose have worked their way into pop culture, featuring in everything from hit TV shows and blockbuster movies to modern novels and comic books. There’s even a Shakespeare insult generator where you can find dozens of the bard’s hilarious witticisms with the click of a button. 

If you are struggling for a decent comeback or want to improve your vocabulary of insults, look no further than the Shakespeare insults we have collected below. The bard’s unique words can provide you with all the witty cracks you need to leave your mates perplexed by your crafty insults. We’ve included a loose translation in case Shakespeare’s words are a little too old-timey for you. So read on and discover the best Shakespeare insults and wow your mates with your master of the English language. 

42 Epic Shakespeare Insults That Display the Playwrights Wit

1. Insult: “Let’s meet as little as we can.” – As You Like It (Act 3, Scene 2)

Translation: In other words, I don’t ever want to see you again. Please stay out of my life. 

2. Insult: “Beetle-headed flap-ear’d knave.” – The Taming of the Shrew (Act 4, Scene 1)

Translation: You’ve got big ears and you’re a dummy. 

3. Insult: “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality.” – All’s Well That Ends Well (Act 3, Scene 6)

Translation: You’re a coward and a liar.

4. Insult: “I am sick when I do look on thee.” –  A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Act 2, Scene 1)

Translation: You make me physically sick.

5. Insult: “Away thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant.” – Taming of the Shrew (Act 4, Scene 3)

Translation: You are a literal rag. Go in the bin. 

6. Insult: “You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!” – Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)

Translation: Falstaff is basically calling Prince Henry a skinny prick. 

7. Insult: “Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.” – Richard III (Act 1, Scene 2)

Translation: Just looking at you makes my eyes burn with pain. In other words, don’t look at me. 

8. Insult: “Away, you three-inch fool!” – The Taming of the Shrew (Act 4, Scene 1)

Translation: You are very small. It could also be used when talking about the size of a certain manly appendage. Nobody likes being called small down there. 

9. Insult: “What, you egg?” – Macbeth (Act 4, Scene 2)

Translation: Being called an egg might not seem that bad, but it means you are basic and boring, and nobody wants to be that. 

10. Insult: “You have a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.” – Much Ado About Nothing (Act 5, Scene 4)

Translation: You have a mean-looking face and are ugly. 

11. Insult: “Canker-blossom!” – A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Act 3, Scene 2)

Translation: This insult has two meanings. The first is someone who destroys love, which isn’t ideal. The second is a venereal disease that manifests itself by covering your body in sores. We think the second translation is the worst. 

12. Insult: “I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away.” –  Henry IV (Act 2, Scene 2)

Translation: You are despicable, poor, and a cheat. And a piece of mold. 

13. Insult: “A fusty nut with no kernel.” –  Troilus and Cressida (Act 2, Scene 1)

Translation: This is Shakespeare’s version of “You’re not the sharpest knife in the draw.” 

14. Insult: “Thou art a very ragged wart.” – Henry IV (Act 3, Scene 2)

Translation: Ever been called a wart before? It hurts. Another great Shakespeare insult. 

15. Insult: “Quintessence of dust.” –  Hamlet (Act 2, Scene 2)

Translation: You are nothing but dust. A fleeting moment in time nobody will remember. Take that! 

16. Insult: “How now, thou crusty batch of nature! What’s the news?” – Troilus and Cressida (Act 5, Scene 1)

Translation: Hey, how are things? You look disgusting by the way. 

17. Insult: “Come, come, you froward and unable worms!” – The Taming Of The Shrew (Act 5, Scene 2)

Translation: Another obvious insult: you are a slimy worm.

18. Insult: “Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-livered boy.” – Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 3)

Translation: This means to prick your face so you get some color. The perfect insult for your fair-skinned friends who don’t like the sun. 

19. Insult: “O Gull! O Dolt! As ignorant as dirt!” – Othello (Act 5, Scene 2)

Translation: You are nothing more than a piece of dirt. Take that! 

20. Insult: “Thou cream-faced loon.” – Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 3)

Translation: You are a scardey cat. 

21. Insult: “His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard.” – Henry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 4)

Translation: You are as thick as two bricks. 

22. Insult: “Elvish-mark’d abortive, rooting hog.” – Richard III (Act 1, Scene 3)

Translation: To have the appearance of an evil elf mixed with a pig. 

23. Insult: “Why, thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-catch.” – Henry IV, Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)

Translation: This is a flowery way to call someone a son of a whore. It also references being thick as shit and not a very nice person to look at. Some great English literature here. 

24. Insult: “I am pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.” – Hamlet (Act 2, Scene 2) 

Translation: A nice way of saying someone is a coward. 

25. Insult: “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.” – Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)

Translation: I would beat you up but I don’t want to get my hands infected. Harsh from the United Kingdom playwright. 

26. Insult: “You starveling, you elf skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stockfish!” – Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)

Translation: Henry really goes to town on Falstaff and calls him a bunch of animal-related insults. He says he has the skin of an elf, which doesn’t seem too bad, but then also mentions he looks like a dried ox tongue, a bull’s penis, and a codfish of all things. The bull’s penis insult hurts the most. 

27. Insult: “You rampallian! you fustilarian!” – Henry IV, Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 1)

Translation: The first part of this insult is the word “rampallian,” which is basically calling someone a scoundrel. Not too bad. The second part which contains the word “fustilarian,” is a little more server, as it means someone is slow and clumsy and generally implies they are fat. Shakespeare sure did have a way with words. 

28. Insult: “Villian, I have done thy mother.” – Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 2)

Translation: Shakespeare wasn’t above the odd mom joke now and then. With this one, Aaron is telling Demetrius he fucked his mother. Take that!

29. Insult: “I do desire we may be better strangers.” – As You Like It (Act 3, Scene 2)

Translation: I would much prefer it if we were strangers and never met. 

30. Insult: “A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue;1090 one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deny the least syllable of thy addition.” – King Lear (Act 2, Scene 2)

Translation: There is a lot to unpack here, but to sum it up, the Earl of Kent is telling Oswald he’s an absolute cock gobbler in no uncertain terms. 

31. Insult: “Lump of foul deformity.” – Richard III (Act 1, Scene 2)

Translation: You are a deformed lump. Could also mean a piece of shit. 

32. Insult: “You peasant swain, you whoreson, malthorse drudge!” – The Taming of the Shrew (Act 4, Scene 1)

Translation: If you need to call someone poor, the son of a whore, and a lumbering idiot, this is the insult for you. 

33. Insult: “Methinks thou art a general offense and every man should beat thee.” – All’s Well That Ends Well (Act 2, Scene 3)

Translation: When someone offended you so much you think everyone should beat them up. 

34. Insult: “More of your conversation would infect my brain.” – Coriolanus (Act 2, Scene 1)

Translation: If I have to listen to you for much longer my brain is going to turn into mush. 

35. Insult: “Peace, ye fat guts!” – Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 2)

Translation: You’re fat. Really fat. Peace. 

36. Insult: “His face is not worth sunburning.” – Henry V (Act 5, Scene 2)

Translation: When someone’s face is so ugly even getting sunburned wouldn’t improve them. 

37. Insult: “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.” – The Comedy of Errors (Act 5, Scene 4)

Translation: Another insult about a person’s looks. This one suggests their face makes grapes sour. Harsh, but funny. 

38. Insult: “This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure.” – All’s Well That Ends Well (Act 5, Scene 3)

Translation: Looking for a new way to call someone a whore? This is it. 

39. Insult: “Thou art a boil, a plague sore.” – King Lear (Act 2, Scene 2)

Translation: Nobody likes being called a boil. 

40. Insult: “Thou art as fat as butter.” – Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)

Translation: This one isn’t hard to work out. 

41. Insult: “Here is the babe, as loathsome as a toad.” – Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 3)

Translation: Not all insults have to be hard to decipher. Calling someone a toad gets the message across about how you feel about them. 

42. Insult: “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.” – Henry V (Act 4, Scene 4)

Translation: Calling someone a mountain goat is a different type of insult but one that still makes you stop and think.