80 Chemistry Jokes Sure To Give You a Giggle

We love a good science joke here at the Next Luxury offices. After laughing ourselves silly with the best physics jokes, we picked ourselves off the floor and kept the science theme going, diving head-first into the funniest chemistry jokes. These hilarious gags and puns are the type of humor that involves the use of scientific concepts, chemical elements, and chemical reactions to create witty one-liners and jokes. 

If you’re a science teacher, particularly in the chemistry field, or a student, you are sure to raise a smile reading this collection of chemistry jokes. Obviously, if you have a basic understanding of the subject matter it will help, but even chemistry novices will find these jokes funny.

Some popular themes for chemistry jokes include the periodic table, chemical reactions, lab equipment, and the properties of various elements and compounds. It doesn’t matter if you’re an adult or a child, you’ll find a joke here that hits the mark. These chemistry jokes are a lighthearted and fun way to engage with the fascinating world of chemistry and its many quirks and complexities.

80 Chemistry Jokes Sure To Give You a Giggle

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1. Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O too!” The second chemist dies.
2. What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C?  Nothing, you’re perfectly 0K. 
3. Make like a proton and stay positive. 
4. What do you call a clown in jail? A silicon.
5. If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they’d be alloys.
6. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base. 
7. Lose an electron? You gotta keep an ion it. 
8. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!
9. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.”OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
10. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.
11. I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.
12. What kind of dogs do chemists have? Laboratory Retrievers.
13. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.
14. Want to hear a potassium joke? K. 
15. A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender gives him a smile and says, “For you, no charge.”
16. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
17. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
18. Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber? To reduce his carbon footprint.
19. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
20. What do the other elements say to hydrogen? What a loner!
21. Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting.
22. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o-acid. 
23. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.
24. What do you call an iron blowing in the breeze? Febreeze. 
25. Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. 
26. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates!
27. My chemistry experiment exploded. It’s ok, oxidants happen. 
28. I once told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction. 
29. What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you!
30. I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U.
31. What is the dullest element? Bohrium.
32. H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.
33. What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon. 
34. I’m out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one. 
35. What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.
36. I like chemistry jokes because they are funny. He. He. he. 
37. Are you made of copper and tellurim? Because you’re CuTe.
38. Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
39. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded. 
40. What show do cesium and iodine watch together? Csl. 
41. Chemistry is like cooking. Just don’t lick the cutlery.
42. The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it? Completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
43. How about the chemical workers … are they unionized?
44. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.
45. What is the chemical formula for coffee? CoFe2. 
46. The proton is not speaking to the other proton. He’s mad atom.
47. Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements? If you can’t curium or helium, you barium.
48. Are you 11 protons? Cause you are sodium fine.
49. What did silver say to gold at the bar? “Au, get outta here!”
50. Knock, knock, who’s there? Beryl. Beryl who? Beryl and Lium.
51. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO. 
52. If you’re not part of the solution – you’re part of the precipitate.
53. Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
54. I am female. Fe = Iron and Male = man. Therefore, I am Iron Man.
55. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”
56. I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite… He said NaBrO.
57. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety. 
58. Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element.
59. What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song? Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE. 
60. Someone threw sodium chloride at me. I yelled, “That’s a salt!”
61. What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2. 
62. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
63. Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? Because he got Avogadro’s number.
64. That was sodium funny. I slapped my neon that one.
65. What is the most important rule in chemistry? Never lick the spoon!
66. Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”Helium doesn’t react.
67. Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
68. How did Arsenal become a strong club in the English Premier League? Because they are bronzed with arsenic.
69. What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
70. Chemists are so happy in their lab because they are in their element.
71. What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
72. Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it’ll combine with anything.
73. What’s a chemistry teacher’s favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it’s pretty basic stuff. 
74. You should never go out drinking with neutrons because there is never any change. 
75. Enough of these chemistry puns. I think we have all sulfured enough. 
76. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? One molar solution.
77. How did the chemist survive the famine? By subsisting on titrations.
78. What do you get when you mix helium with steel? Flying cars. 
79. Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
80. Have you heard about James Bond’s Eskimo cousin? His name is Polar Bond.