76 Hilarious Biology Jokes That Will Crack Up the Classroom

Of all the science classes you have in life, none are quite as fun as biology. Sure, chemistry and physics are great for those who want to become engineers or get into medicine, but for the rest of us, biology provides a fascinating insight into the human body. Not only that, but biology allows us to learn more about the world around us and the animals and plants that make up the Earth. If you still somehow can’t come to grips with biology, or just find it boring, you can liven things up in the classroom with these hilarious biology jokes. 

Biology jokes have a unique way of blending scientific knowledge with humor and come in the form of clever biological references, witty puns, and lighthearted cracks about the school subject. From DNA-related wisecracks to animal-themed quips, biology jokes showcase the humorous side of the natural world, allowing us to marvel at the natural world while also having a few giggles.

While we admit some of the jokes below are a little corny, they are still funny biology jokes that should bring a smile to the face of everyone in the class, even the biology teacher. And if you are a big fan of these science jokes, be sure to check out our favorite physic jokes too. 

1. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

2. I was reading a book on helium…

I couldn’t put it down.

3. Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?

They had no chemistry.

4. I wish I was adenine…

Then I could get paired with U.

5. What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood?

B positive!

6. Why do ants never get sick?

They have little anty bodies.

7. What did the cell say when he ran into the table?

Mitosis.

8. Where did the viruses go?

They flu away.

9. What do you call it when your biology grade is close to an F?

Biodegraded.

10. Why wouldn’t the scientist go into the haunted house?

He was too petrified.

11. Where do hippos go to university?

Hippocampus.

12. What do you call an organic compound with an attitude?

A-mean-o acid.

13. Why didn’t anyone want the biologist’s new book?

It was a hard cell.

14. Do you want to hear a potassium joke?

K.

15. Why are men sexier than women?

You can’t spell sexy without xy.

16. Two blood cells met and fell in love.

Sadly, it was all in vein.

17. Why did the woman break up with the biologist?

He was too cell-fish.

18. What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood?

B positive!

19. Why was the amoeba sad?

His parents just split.

20. What do you call a cab that provides drug therapy?

Chemotaxis.

21. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide.

22. What is the tiniest virus in the world?

Smallpox.

23. My biology teacher decided to create vocal cords with stem cells.

The results really speak for themselves.

24. What do other plants do when one of their plant friends is sad?

Photosympathize.

25. Why was the mushroom so popular?

He was a real fungi.

26. A couple of biologists had twins…

They named one Jessica and the other Control.

27. What did the femur say to the patella?

I kneed you.

28. Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays?

They’re allowed to wear genes to work.

29. What do biologists post on Instagram?

Cell-fies.

30. One flower looks at the other and says, “You hungry?”

The second flower responded, “I could use a light snack.”

31. How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?

As an itsy bitsy book.

32. Why do biologists like to travel?

It makes them more cultured.

33. What do you call the leader of a biology gang?

The nucleus.

34. Why aren’t students allowed in the biology teachers’ lounge?

It’s for staph only.

35. What do hipster biologists wear?

Skinny genes.

36. Why was the girl worried about biology class?

She has a Nervous System.

37. How does a marine biologist end a conversation?

Sea you later!

38. Why did the scuba diver fail biology?

He was below “C” level.

39. There are well over 100 labs in America working on developing a vaccine for the latest COVID-19 strain.

Just wait till they get the German shepherds involved!

40. A male frog calls the psychic hotline. He is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled. “This is great,” he says. “Will I meet her in a bar?”

“No,” says the psychic. “In her biology class.”

41. Why did the woman break up with the biologist?

He was too cell-fish.

42. Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye.

I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.

43. I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed…

Guess my thymine was off.

44. What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

45. Biology professor: “Hello, class. Today we will be learning about the liver and the pancreas.”

Biology student: “Ugh, I hate organ recitals.”

46. How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?

Romeostasis.

47. Biologists can also be great philosophers.

They give fantastic life lessons.

48. It’s impossible for plants to escape from jail.

There’s a wall around their cell!

49. Teacher: “What is the definition of a protein?”

Student: “A protein is something that is made up of mean old acids.”

50. Which place of worship is made from amino acids?

The cysteine chapel.

51. If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

52. What do football players wear on their heads?

Helminth.

53. Are you made of copper and tellurium?

Because you are Cu-Te.

54. We just hired a new molecular biologist.

Wow, isn’t she small?

55. I walked into the biology lab and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect.

I told him, “I think your fly is open.”

56. Why did the biologist not water all of the plants?

Because they couldn’t find the thyme!

57. What did the conservative biologist say?

“The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level.”

58. Why can’t a plant be on the dark side of the Force?

Because it can’t make food without the light!

59. A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down…

Now he has to start from scratch.

60. Why was the biologist broke?

Because he was sporely paid.

61. What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

62. How do you reprimand a lazy scientist working in a cryogenics lab?

“Your contribution to this project is absolute zero.”

63. What did the avid recyclers name their triplets?

Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

64. Is there a big difference between male and female anatomy?

Yes, a vas deferens.

65. What did the biologist wear on his first date with the pretty girl?

Designer genes.

66. Which biochemicals wash up on beaches?

Nucleotides.

67. Why didn’t the dendrochronologist ever get married?

Because he only dated trees.

68. Do you have 11 protons?

‘Cause you’re Sodium fine.

69. What would you call the scientific study of real estate?

Homology.

70. A doctor, a health insurance agent, and a lab tech walk into a bar. Who pays the tab?

The patient.

71. Why don’t yogurt and medicine get along?

One is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic.

72. What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?

“I like your ‘style.’”

73. How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?

He caught the garter snake.

74. What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?

“Woopea!”

75. Do you know what gets on my nerves?

Myelin.

76. What do you call a broken spirometer?

Expired.