35 Best Snatch Quotes

One of the great British gangster flicks of the early 00s, Snatch is arguably director Guy Ritchie’s greatest gift to cinema. Full of comical violence, notable characters, ripping dialogue, and star turns from Brad Pitt, Jason Statham, Stephen Gramham, and Vinnie Jones, Snatch is a cult classic that everyone needs to see. In this article, we are celebrating the best Snatch quotes and lines of dialogue that are part of the movie’s success.

For those who have not seen Snatch, the movie centers on several characters in London’s criminal underworld who cross paths throughout the story. The main plot revolves around boxing promoters Turkish (Statham) and Tommy (Gramhem) who are forced to use gypsy Mickey O’Neil (Pitt) in an underground fight organized by criminal kingpin Brick Top (Alan Ford) after their original fighter suffers a broken jaw (thanks to O’Neil).

There are a couple of subplots too, with one about American Abraham “Cousin Avi” Denovitz (Dennis Farina) coming to London to buy a diamond that then goes missing, with hardman Bullet Tooth Tony (Jones) tasked with finding the missing jewel, while another involves a group of small-time crooks who find themselves falling afoul of Bricktop.

Whether it’s Turkish’s deadpan musings, Brick Top’s menacing threats, O’Neil’s philosophical wisdom, or Bullet Tooth Tony’s enigmatic remarks, the in Snatch has transcended the screen to become part of everyday conversations and internet memes. As we explore the best quotes that this movie has to offer, we’ll also uncover the reasons behind their enduring resonance, showcasing the synergy between sharp writing, stellar performances, and the film’s overall charismatic charm.

From Screen to Culture: 30 Classic Snatch Quotes

1 “Protection from what? ‘Zee Germans?'” – Turkish

2. “Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup ‘o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins… London!” – Cousin Avi

3. “As bent as the Soviet sickle and as hard as the hammer that crosses it.” – Turkish

4. “Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn’t work you can always hit them with it.” – Boris the Blade

5. “My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents-to-be were on the same plane when it crashed. That’s how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That’s Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th-century ballet dancer.” – Turkish

6. Policeman: “So, what you doin’ here?”

Turkish: “I’m taking the dog for a walk. What’s the problem?”

Policeman: “What’s in the car?”

Turkish: “Seats and a steering wheel.”

7. “It’s a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.” – Sol

8. “Do you know what ‘nemesis’ means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an horrible cunt… me.” – Brick Top

9. “It’s an unlicensed boxing match. It’s not a tickling competition.” – Turkish

10. Turkish: “You take sugar?”

Brick Top: “No thank you, Turkish; I’m sweet enough.”

11. Brick Top: “You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.”

Sol: “Would someone mind telling me, who are you?”

Brick Top: “And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, ‘as greedy as a pig.'”

Vinny: “Well, thank you for that. That’s a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn’t mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?”

12. “I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.” – Cousin Avi

13. Tyrone: “I didn’t see it there.”

Vinny: “It’s a four-ton truck, Tyrone. It’s not as if it’s a packet of fucking peanuts, is it?”

Tyrone: “It was a funny angle.”

Vinny: “It’s behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.”

14. “I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from, eh?” – Vinny

15. Cousin Avi: “I don’t like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don’t like leaving it for anything less then warm sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.”

Doug the Head: “We’ve got sandy beaches.”

Cousin Avi: “So? Who the fuck wants to see ’em?”

16. Cousin Avi: “Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?”

Bullet Tooth Tony: “You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.”

17. “Shut up and sit down you big, bald fuck!” – Cousin Avi

18. “You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.” – Bullet Tooth Tony

19. “This schmuck is gambling? You’re talking about Franky ‘I’ve got a problem with gambling’ fucking Four Fingers Doug.” – Cousin Avi

20. Turkish: “What’s happening with them sausages, Charlie?”

Sausage Charlie: “Five minutes, Turkish.”

Turkish: “It was two minutes five minutes ago.”

21. Bullet Tooth Tony: “Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?”

Cousin Avi: “Why do they call him the bullet dodger?”

Bullet Tooth Tony: “Because he dodges bullets, Avi.”

22. “If you got to deal with him, you just make sure you don’t end up owing him. Because then you’re in his debt. Which means, you’re in his pocket. And once you’re in that, you ain’t ever coming out.” – Turkish

23. “So the Biblical scholars mistranslated the Hebrew word for ‘young woman’ into the Greek word for ‘virgin,’ which was a pretty easy mistake to make since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But back then it was the ‘virgin’ that caught people’s attention. – Franky Four Fingers

24. Cousin Avi: “Look in the dog.”

Bullet-Tooth Tony: “What do you mean ‘look in the dog?'”

Cousin Avi: “I mean open him up.”

Bullet-Tooth Tony: “It’s not as if it’s a tin of baked beans! What do you mean ‘open him up?'”

25. “Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way? A car’s nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn’t flash before you, ’cause you’re too fuckin’ scared to think… you just freeze and pull a stupid face.” – Turkish

26. Vinny: “What the fuck do you mean, replicas?”

Sol: “They look the shit, don’t they? And nobody is gonna argue. And I’ve got some extra loud blanks, just in case.”

Vinny: “In… oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?”

27. “I’m gonna get you to a doctor, and not just any doctor, boychik, I’m gonna find you a nice Jewish doctor.” – Cousin Avi

28. “In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary… come again?” – Brick Top

29. “You ain’t from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sat in a car that is worth less than your shirt?” – Sol

30. Bullet Tooth Tony: “Do you want to shoot him?”

Cousin Avi: “That’s a little noisy, isn’t it?”

Bullet “Tooth Tony: Well, do you want to stab him?”

Cousin Avi: “Well, that’s a little cold-blooded, isn’t it?”

Bullet Tooth Tony: “Do you want to kill him, or not?”

31. Turkish: “Well the rabbit gets fucked.”

Tommy: “Proper fucked?”

Turkish: “Yes, before ‘Zee Germans’ get there.”

32. Mickey O’Neil: “Good dags. D’ya like dags?”

Tommy: “Dags?”

Mickey O’Neil: “What?”

Mrs. O’Neil: “Yeah, dags.”

Tommy: “Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.”

33. “I don’t care if he’s Muhammad “I’m hard” Bruce Lee. You can’t change fighters.” – Brick Top

34. Customs official: “Anything to declare?”

Avi: “Yeah. Don’t go to England.”

35. Bullet Tooth Tony: “So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.”

Vinny: “These are your last words, so make them a prayer.”

Bullet Tooth Tony: “Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you’ve got your parties muddled up. There’s no pussy here, just a dose that’ll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you’ve got ‘Replica’ written down the side of your guns and the fact that I’ve got ‘Desert Eagle point five O’ written on the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now… Fuck off!”